Art-filled Musings

Countdown to my deadline!  I have two more days to have everything completed.  I know I'll get there, but I'm at that place where everything is starting to look the same and I'm not able to be objective.  Luckily I have a couple friends close by who have offered their critique.  What do you all think of this squirrel?  Be honest.  What does this little squirrel need?  I think he still needs some dark lines to make him pop out more.  What else?

Over the past year, I've put a lot of thought into my artistic process, how I work, what drives me, what gets me hung up.  I've learned a lot about myself.  I've learned that, for me, my art and creative drive is as much about baking a loaf of bread...

or setting a pretty table.....

as it is about painting a picture.   Another major realization for me was that when I am working really hard on an art project, it consumes me, and not in a good way.  I know that artists are "supposed" to want to spend all day in the studio and get up in the middle of the night to paint.  That's not me.  I don't like it when I lie awake painting in my head, and the only thing I'll get out of bed for in the middle of the night is to pee.  Or if the house was on fire, then I'd get up.

I love to paint and draw as much as I love to bake, but the honest truth is I don't get the same peace from making visual art as I do from baking.  Today I went to the kitchen, pulled out the flour and yeast.  When I felt that dough in my hands it was like a huge sigh.

I can't imagine giving up art; if anything I probably just need to make more art so I feel more comfortable with my skill level.  I just want the feel of the pencil in my hand to give me the same peace that I get from the dough.  I had a certain art professor who told me that I wasn't a serious artist if I didn't use my art to work through some heavy family issues I was having, but I preferred to focus on the issues and come back to the art later.  I read on other artists' blogs about how at the end of a difficult day they go to their studio to unwind.  And so I question myself: if I can't use art to work through my issues and it winds me up instead of the other way around, maybe I'm not meant to be an artist.  Or maybe I should just stop trying to fit into other people's molds and be the kind of artist I am.